


Anxiekitty

by SpaceVinci



Series: Sanders Sides [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: But whatever, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Shapeshifting, Sick Character, Sick Fic, and I'm not even listing him as a character because he's not really in this, the character who is sick is Thomas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 15:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11993001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceVinci/pseuds/SpaceVinci
Summary: In which Patton is Very Excited, which is normal, Logan is trying to explain the situation, which is also normal, and Virgil is a cat, which is decidedly not normal.





	Anxiekitty

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know, it's been months since the last YAL update. An update is coming! I have been very busy with starting Senior Year and trying to get college crap sorted, but I'm over halfway finished with chapter 12! It's coming! In the meantime, I'll be posting some short Sanders Sides fics I've written for Tumblr on here so that I don't lose them. Enjoy!

Being sick, Logan tries to explain to the group as precisely zero people even pretend to listen, does funny things to the brain. It makes things jumbled, unfocused, it - well, seeing as Thomas is currently sick to that particular point, it’s making it very hard for Logan to find the right words to explain the situation. When you’re at that level of sick, you wake up with a cold and clinging existential terror about the complexity of your own fingers. You stare at a wall for two hours imagining the best movie ever conceived, except at this point you’re thinking about a potato screaming and that and some static noise is all that’s been happening in your head for the majority of those two hours. You write incoherent notes that you’ll find later in confusion, when you’re finally healthy and have zero memory of why you thought that hippos being underappreciated was of such vital importance that you needed to write a reminder to call your representative about it.

Being sick, Logan keeps on trying to explain even though nobody can even hear what he’s saying anymore past Patton’s high-pitched squeal, is probably what caused the sort of confusion that led to Virgil being turned into a cat.

Patton, as previously mentioned, hears approximately none of this explanation. Even if he weren’t making so many cooing and squeeing noises that Logan’s constant barrage of words hardly stands a chance, there’s no way any sort of explanatory exposition made it past the chorus of “CAT! CAT! CAT!” going on in his head.

“Aaaaaaah, it’s a kitty, Virgie’s a kitty!” he squeals, scooping Virgil up in his arms and ignoring the way the tiny ball of fur emits an annoyed hissing noise upon leaving the ground. “Who’s a good little kitty? You are! You are!”

“I didn’t know his voice could go that high,” Roman murmurs to Logan, who doesn’t appear to have been aware of this fact, either.

The situation had happened like this: have you ever read the 9th chapter of Douglas Adam’s  _ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy _ ? If you haven’t, I highly suggest doing so now. Context is recommended, but not required. Suffice to say that it features a truly remarkable level of unreality only slightly more exaggerated than that which had inhabited Thomas’s dreams the night prior. When the confusion had finally died down, everything had nearly returned to normal except for three key details: each Side’s hair (besides Virgil’s) had turned its own unique shade of violent pink, each Side now had a slightly distinct nose shape, and Virgil had been turned into a tiny and disgruntled Bombay kitten. They’d only figured out it was Virgil when Patton started calling for him and the kitten had  _ screamed  _ and made a lunge for the nearest curtain.

Yup. That had to be Virgil.

“Aw, don’t worry little guy,” Patton soothes, shifting to a calmer tone as Virgil struggles against him and starts flicking his head around in a blind panic. “I’m sure this’ll all clear up once Thomas gets better.” He notices the way Virgil’s eyes flicker in terror toward the ground, which must seems miles away at his size. Patton sits down slowly and eases Virgil into his lap. “In the meantime,” he says, scratching Virgil gently behind the ears, “you are a _ dor _ able.”

Virgil hisses, but doesn’t move.

“I must say,” Logan admits, sitting down cautiously across from Patton, “he does make an endearing feline.”

Virgil lets out a little sneeze, which somehow manages to express how very much he resents that remark. It’s quite a lot more emotion than the average person manages to pack into a sneeze, much less such a cute sneeze.

“Oh my goodness you’re so  _ cute _ !” Patton all but screams, voice high enough to make Roman (who, lurking nearby, is eyeing Virgil uncertainly) take a step back.

“Isn’t Thomas allergic to cats?” Roman asks cautiously. “Are we sure that cuddling Anxie -  _ Virg  _ \- is a good idea?”

“We don’t share all of Thomas’s biological traits,” Logan reminds him, reaching out a tentative hand to pet Virgil. Virgil bats away the first attempt, but grudgingly allows the second. “For example, cream-based soups have no effect on Thomas’s stomach, whereas they upset yours. Remember when -”

“Whatever it is,” Roman cuts him off, “no, and it didn’t happen.” He shifts uncomfortably. “Is no one else suspicious that Thomas O’Melancholy over here is acting so - oh, how do I put this -” he flips his hand, as if that will somehow suffice, before settling on, “chill?”

Virgil is by no means “chill,” what with all the wriggling around and pawing at various things, but the other Sides stop to consider that yes, he is a bit more subdued than usual.

“Aw, I bet he’s just enjoying all the cuddles he’s getting,” Patton decides after a moment’s speculation. He pets behind Virgil’s whiskers with one hand, using the other to keep Virgil steady on his lap. “Isn’t that right, buddy?”

If the way Virgil start purring and leaning into Patton’s hand before he catches himself and gives an indignant little “mew!” has anything to say about it, Patton’s probably got it on the nose.

“Interesting,” Logan says, and then lets the thought hang there uncharacteristically a moment while he awkwardly manages to get his hand in and give Virgil a gentle chin-scratch. “It would seem that Virgil may have been somewhat touch starved.”

“Oh no!” Patton gasps. He leans down and wraps his arms around Virgil as best he can without squashing him (he really is a very tiny kitten). “Well, I am  _ always  _ here for hugs, even when you aren’t a kitten. No one should  _ ever  _ go without hugs and cuddles when they want them.”

He may be imagining it, but he thinks he hears a quiet, deep voice in his ear thank him softly.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it before Thomas plunges into the next round of REM, and reality promptly slips off the deep end.


End file.
